My Santafesto

Originally posted on 12/12/2010

Its the Holiday Season! Decorations are up, cookies are baking, presents are being wrapped, kids are excited for Christmas to come… it really is the most wonderful time of the year.
In my family we have several Christmas time traditions. Every year we let the kids pick out a special ornament for the tree; every year we tour the neighborhoods with the best light displays, every year we learn about the season of advent, every year we spend Christmas Eve at an intimate service at our church… and every year the kids go see Santa Claus , sit on his lap and tell him want they want for Christmas. My kids believe in Santa and still manage to learn about God’s perfect Christmas gift to the world at the same time.
Recently, after having posted the annual picture of the kiddos and the man in the big red suit on facebook, I was asked how my husband and I “explain Santa to the kids without distracting from Jesus or lying to them ?” I quickly typed out a little rebuttle, backing up the jolly old elf. But the more I thought about it, the more passionate I became about the subject.. and the more things I thought up that I wished I had said. So dear blog friends, you get to hear what I like to call the “Santafesto.”

** On Balancing Jesus birth with Santa

First of all, You can downplay Santa a little by having him only give one special gift and fill the Christmas stockings. Any additional gifts can be from mom and dad or brother and sister.
Next, the years a child believes in Santa are short… 5 to 8 years is usually it. In most of those years its hard for a kid to think abstractly and to understand the concept of an omnipotent, omnipresent, God who is always there but we cannot see. However, thanks to the over commercialization of Christmas, Santa is seen everywhere.. on tv, at the mall, in books, on toys… ect. The Santa tradition includes some Godlike traits like omnipotence, and omnipresence. A child has an easier grasp learning these traits in regards to Santa who they see everywhere… and then as parents we can use a child’s understanding of Santa as a tool to help explain God.. and that God is even bigger and better than Santa.
We can also use Santa to show how we should be selfless, and giving to others at Christmastime as well as all through the year. Santa exemplifies how Christ would like us all to be; Joyful, warm hearted, generous, not self serving. These are all important traits that Christians should exude.
Finally for the Jesus/ Santa balance issue- If you are raising your kids to learn about Jesus all year long, then Santa is not going to over shadow that at Christmastime. My family goes to church every Sunday and regularly through out the week discuss, read about, and pray to Jesus. My kids know that the only reason there is Christmas is because Jesus was born, and Santa doesn’t take that away.

*** On telling your kids that Santa is real is lying:

I don’t know if this is trendy to shun Santa because people don’t want to “lie” to their children or what.. but I think this reason is absolutely ridiculous. Lets face it, “lying” to your kids is a part of parenting. Think about how many times you say something like , ” Clean your room, or I am going to through all your toys way, ” knowing that you have no intention what so ever to do that. Or have you ever said, “if you don’t take a bath, your dirty toes will turn green and fall off?” No? You don’t say things like that, its just me??? Okay.. Well then what if you and your spouse are being intimate and your child walks in and says, ” Daddy, what are you doing to mommy?” I am pretty sure you are not going to tell the truth.. you are going to lie and say, “Daddy’s just popping mommy’s back”. Or what if you take your kids to Disneyland and your little girl is so excited to meet Cinderella, would it be good parenting to tell her, “Don’t be so excited, Cinderella isn’t real, its just an ex-stripper wearing a costume.” Even if that is the TRUTH? I think that the truth is letting your child partake in one of the most magical traditions in our culture should not be thought of as lying, its more like allowing your child to be a child, and to enjoy the innocent wonder of childhood.

When I look back on my childhood and Christmas.. the years that Santa was real to me were the very best. There is nothing more exciting than running down stairs on Christmas morning and seeing that “Santa came!” If you remember those magical Santa years as fondly as I do, why would you want to with hold that magic from your own child?

The Santa decision is yours as a parent to make. But I think the big guy from the North Pole sometimes gets an unfair bad rap. Its not Santa’s fault Christmas has become a materialistic frenzy, lets blame the heavy marketing from CEO’s trying to boost their year end profits for that. Its not Santa’s fault if he outshines Jesus.. that would be our fault –if we are not emphasizing Jesus all year through, Santa is bound to outshine, but if we focus on Jesus all year there is no way that Santa can outshine Him.

Kidstructions

Originally written on 11/30/2010

Recently my husband and I got to go away for a week together with NO kids!!! It was amazing. My mom stayed with my kids while we were away so I had to leave her very detailed instructions. I didn’t realize there was anything funny about it, but when my husband printed them off at work, his coworkers got a kick out of it.. so I decided to share it with all of the wonderful people that happen to read my blog.

Kid Instructions

Morning:
Wake Shaylee up by 7:15am. Do not send her to school in any pants that have buttons or zippers… she will leave them undone and have her butt hanging out all day. Make sure she brushes her teeth.. if you don’t tell her to do it, put the paste on the brush and hand it to her—she won’t do it. School starts at 8:15am…. I try to have her there by 8 so that she has plenty of time to get to class, hang up her coat and backpack, and do her “attendance work”… and the earlier you are, the smaller the line to drop off is.
Make Will go POTTY as soon as he wakes up… if he wakes up in the night… make him go potty… then he should still be dry when he wakes up… he might say he doesn’t have to go.. but he does.
After School:
School lets out at 3:40pm. I leave the house at 3:30… so that I can get a parking spot. The teacher must see you in order for Shaylee to be released. Shaylee’s class comes out the middle doors… not the main doors… so I try to park in the East Parking lot…but it’s sometimes hard to find a spot… so parking on Elm street is a good idea too. I usually wait for Shaylee in the grassy area by the big tree… be aware when leaving that the parking lot and pick up/drop off lane is VERY HECTIC for about 5 to 10 minutes.
The first thing Shaylee has to do when she gets home is her homework. Homework is very important; If she doesn’t turn it in it will affect her grade. Make sure her completed work gets put back into her binder and backpack. Monday’s homework is the most important, it’s spelling. We do it as a pretest… you will have to cut off the list of words from the page, and then read them to her…after she is finished with the pretest, she has to write them an additional time, make sure she spells things correctly on the second part. Keep the typed list of words on the fridge… she must turn in the handwritten lists.
MONDAY— Shaylee has dance class from 7:00 to 7:50pm… make sure she has her dance bag with both sets of dance shoes… she can wear basically anything.. we usually do some kind of stretchy pant and a tee shirt.
***also the trash truck comes early Tuesday morning, so put it on the curb Monday night… the bins are on the East side of the house. The recycling bin doesn’t need to be put out, because it only comes every other week.
Bedtime:
Our goal for bedtime is 8pm… to ensure Shaylee is asleep by 9pm. She can watch a movie on her TV. If she is in bed by 8:30
Shaylee needs a bath or shower before bedtime… and she still needs some help especially with hair washing… she doesn’t need her hair washed every night… but if she gets it wet… it gets washed. Don’t let Will and Shaylee take a bath together unattended… they are too interested in each other’s privates.
Make Sure Will goes Potty right before he goes to bed, and he needs to wear a pull up to bed (make sure his pee pee is pointing down.. if its pointing up—if he pees it will come out) He will ask you for Chocolate Syrup (chocolate milk) in bed, Don’t let him have it…or he will most likely wet the bed… even if he has a pull up on, it sometimes leaks out.
Will and the Potty:
Will is doing excellent with his big boy pants! When he wakes up put underwear on him right away (his underwear are in one of the canvas bins in his cubby, the other bins have pj’s and shoes) If he keeps a pull up on for too long even if it is dry it irritates his skin. ALWAYS MAKE HIM GO POTTY BEFORE YOU GO ANYWHERE. That is the number one rule. If you go somewhere, make him potty about once every hour… At home he is good at going himself, but he usually needs help pulling up his pants… but when out he forgets. Even if he says he doesn’t have to, make him try if its been an hour. I don’t recommend letting him have sippy cup of juice when going out… because the more he drinks the more he pees.

First Class, Second Hand

Originally written 9/6/2010

I love to shop. I love expressing myself through fashion. I love buying clothes that make my husband look hot. I love dressing my kids in style savvy little wardrobes. The problem is –I don’t earn any cash… I would say I don’t work.. but I am a stay at home mom.. and we all know that is work.. if you don’t think that’s work.. I will write a blog about all my duties to prove my point… Ok.. back on track… Some ladies feed their love of shopping through gold cards and credit lines.. but I am a frugal fashionista and I hate debt.
The answer is– Second Hand shopping. Second hand isn’t just for kids’ gear.. its for us grown ups too. Especially grown ups on a limited budget, like me. Today I was almost as giddy as a kid on Christmas morning as I drove up to Savers (my favorite thrift store) for their annual Labor day 50% off sale. I was a woman on a mission to find “burried treasure.” Second hand shopping is alot like treasure hunting— I have to sort through a lot of junk.. but when I make an amazing find — WOW— endorphins are released and I experience a tiny little emotional high! Today I found some incredible treasures! An adorable little vintage-esque Chief’s jersey for my 2 year old for $1.50, A pair of -all they need to look brand new are some new laces- nike’s for my daughter for $3.00, a super cute Gap jean jacket for $3.50 for me, a brand new Billabong tee for my husband for $2.00…. and the most amazing treasure unearthed— a beautiful pair of Nine West knee high genuine leather platform heel boots for only $7.. the only thing at all wrong with them is a teensy tiny scratch near the toe on the left boot. Seriously those boots would have retailed for well over 100 big ones!!!
If thrift store shopping isn’t your thing… another amazing second hand shop is Plato’s Closet… I bought an adorable Free People dress for only $8– although that was their clearance price. Plato’s feels like any other mall boutique.. and they only take name brand and clothes from popular stores like Abercrombie, Forever 21, and Hollister. Everything is clean and organized and you can find some amazing bargains. Not only can you find great things to buy there, Plato’s will BUY you’re gently used clothes from you! I took a big bag full of clothes in and walked out with 70 bucks in my pocket.. not too shabby.
Another option is Ebay. I have been jonesin for a North Face Jacket for years. My husband and I are planning a week romantic getaway to the mountains this November for our 10th anniversary… I thought to myself , “OK.. here is my reason to NEED a North Face fleece!!” I went to Dick’s Sporting Goods and tried on some jackets that I loved.. but the one I wanted was $140… um NOOOO, not in the budget. So, I ebayed and found the same thing only worn a few times in amazing condition and only paid $36 after shipping.
I Love second hand shopping. Not only is it super exciting, and money saving, its good for the environment. Being Green is so trendy these days. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle people!!! Purchasing second hand is definitely being resourceful.
I say, give it a try. If done right.. No one will know you’re purchases came from more humble beginnings. I am complimented all the time on my outfits.. especially the one’s that I’ve found second hand.. they are always more unique and rarely does someone have the same thing!
Here are some of my favorite places for First Class Second Hand Shopping:
Savers– http://www.savers.com/
Children’s Orchard– www.childrensorchard.com/
Plato’s Closet– www.platosclosetkansascity.com/
Arizona Trading Co.– (816) 960-0200

209 Westport Rd Kansas City, MO 64111

Fat Days

Originally written 9/13/2010

I am feeling FAT today. I look at myself in the mirror and see my stomach sticking out like freshly risen bakery goods.. and suck it back in… I turn to the side and stick it out, push it forward, and hold it lovingly like a woman with child, and say to the mirror, using a southern accent, ” Oh I’m in my 4th month, so glad to be in the second trimester.” Then I move on to criticize my thighs.. they have sagging skin, I pull the skin up.. they look good, I let the skin drop.. and then cringe… and think, “I wonder how someone gets on one of those TV plastic surgery shows.”

I am mad at myself for being this way… over the last year or so I have lost around 50 pounds.. I have gone from wearing a “sometimes 14… but sometimes 16..” to a “most of the time 6… and very random 4″ That is amazing! I really never thought I could wear anything smaller than a 10! Seriously 29 year old me makes 18 year old me look bad… and that’s pretty good. However, despite my accomplishments I still find myself battling with self bashing and being held hostage by the mirror.

Don’t get me wrong.. there are days that I feel HOT. On those days the mirror is my friend and instead of pretending to be the pregnant southerner… I am a young coed practicing for her test shoot for Playboy, or maybe a Top Model hopeful “smizing’ for Tyra Banks. I like those days…. haha.. so does my husband.

I wonder if the war between Hot days and Fat days will go on forever… sometimes I think it will. Its hard to have a healthy sense of self beauty in this world. Media attacks celebrities for being fat all the time… some who are perfectly normal.. like Jessica Simpson for instance and her infamous mom jeans picture. Jessica told Oprah in an interview that those jeans were a size 4, and the biggest size she ever wore was a 6! When girlfriends gather to chat.. the topic of loosing weight and needing to diet almost always pops up… whether the need is really there or not.

I do love my new body.. shopping is so much more fun now that I can pretty much wear anything I want, and I get to choose what I like and not just what fits and hides me. But I am TERRIFIED of gaining weight back… this may be the reason that now as much as ever I scrutinize every ripple on my skin in the mirror… judging whether or not it is bigger than it was yesterday. I AM A PRETTY MESSED UP WOMAN!

Its time for me to end the war with Fat Days. They come, hormones bring them on, emotions bring them on, too much drinking brings them on… WHATEVER. I am vowing that they will loose their power with me. No more stealing my confidence, no more self hate talk, no more feeling like a fat pregnant southern girl. I am so done with that! Don’t let fat days rule your life either… its time to feel HOT ladies… embrace your hottness!

Snip Snip

Originally written 5/6/2010

Last Wednesday, my husband and I turned the last page of a chapter in our marriage. Geoff visited the urologist and had the surgery that many men have had before him, and that closed the door on the baby making season of our relationship.
As my husband dropped his drawers and sit on the examination table with a thin papery blue sheet awkwardly covering his shaved man parts, I fell in love with him all over again. As we waited for the doctor to step in I thought about what a sacrifice Geoff was making for me. I am sure he was nervous and I knew there would be pain afterward, but he was there looped up on valium with smile on his face more than willing to undergo a scalpel slicing into his family jewels.
It also dawned on me that my husband getting a vasectomy is a milestone in our relationship… like buying a new house. It is something we knew he would do one day.. and now its done. It seems so final, and I can’t believe we are already at this point. We have been married for almost 10 years, but it really does seem like a moment ago, that I met him for the very first time, wearing my smokey the bear tee shirt and asking him who his favorite band was. It is mind boggling how fast life moves!
Geoff and I have two amazing children that we adore, but we decided they were enough for us. I affectionately refer to them as Sassy Shaylee and Wild Will. They both have enormous personalities that require a lot of attention and energy. I would often worry that adding a third Lundy lad or lass would send me to crazy-frazzled-overwhelmed-mommy-land. I am so thankful that now I don’t have to worry and I can relax and focus on our family of four. No more trips to the pharmacy to purchase overpriced pregnancy tests when mother nature decides to give me my monthly “gift” three days late.
I am a lucky woman to have the family that I have. I am excited to see what happens in the next chapter of our family story.

BRAhemian Rhapsody

Originally written 4/15/2010

There are many things about me that are stereo-typical housewife. For Instance: I love the Oprah show, and am inspired by her all the time. One of the most popular Oprah episodes of this decade was the infamous bra sizing episode– the studio audience was surprised to receive fittings for their “over the shoulder boulder holders” by Nordstrom’s lingerie fit experts. That episode revealed that something like 1 in 3 women are wearing the wrong sized lady lifter.
I was one of the statistics!
This week, I decided I needed a professionals help to find the right bra for me… I have recently lost about 40 pounds and I had no idea what was going on with my “girls.” The bras I had been wearing were riding up in the back, gaping in the front, and the shoulder straps were constantly and annoyingly falling down. Something had to give! So, I went to find out what secret Victoria wasn’t telling!
Victoria’s Secret stores offer personalized bra fittings without an appointment. I was a little apprehensive at first, not knowing what to expect. I am a self-conscience, modest lady and the idea of baring my ta-tas to a complete stranger who looked like a Maxim Girl, wasn’t really my idea of a good time. However, my experience was very positive at Victoria’s. The fit expert roughly measured me (blouse on) to begin with. She grabbed a bra in the generic first measure size. I tried it on (privately, in a dressing room) discussed what about it fit, and what didn’t and we went from there using the trial and error process until we came up with a winner! My new bra was a band size smaller and a cup size larger than the ones I had been wearing. ( I would have never even thought to try on my REAL size)
I wore my new “breast friend” today, the difference was astounding! My back didn’t hurt. My girls didn’t pour out of there holders every time I bent over. My shoulder straps stayed in place— ALL DAY LONG! I spent zero minutes adjusting, tugging, and tucking. I even look thinner. It’s amazing what the RIGHT sized bra can do! Its actually FREEING to have the ladies LOCKED up right where they belong! I encourage you to go find out what size you really are, and then sing the praises of the BRAhemian Rhapsody with me!

 

First Grade Diva

Originally written 3/4/2010

My daughter, Shaylee, was born two weeks late. It was the end of July and the middle of a record heat wave. The Doctor finally had to take her out via c-section. No one was going to prompt her to do anything she didn’t want to do.. not even be born. I knew my daughter was a diva when she was still floating around in a pool of amniotic fluid in my huge belly. To this day, she is still a diva.
This afternoon I went up to the elementary school to pick Shaylee up, like I do every day. Today however, her first grade teacher, Mrs. “B,” had to inform me of how terrible my daughter has been acting the past few days. Apparently Shaylee is, “whiney, sassy, disrespectful, and unwilling to follow directions.” Wow!! That is sooo fun to hear! I said a sincere, “sorry,” and took my little diva home.
First grade has been a huge pain in my rear!!! I had reservations about Shaylee’s assigned teacher at the beginning of the school year, but I looked past them. I wish I would have put her in a different class. Shaylee has butted heads alllll year with Mrs. B. I know my diva daughter can be a huge sass-a-frass, but sometimes I think a kid deserves a break. She gets in trouble for everything from not sitting in her chair correctly to not grabbing her back pack fast enough. She is rearely rewarded for good behavior or work, but always told when she is messing up. Poor Mrs. B has has choose to fight so many little battles that now she has lost all control over the diva, and the diva has unleashed her full arsenal for war.
I took away Shaylee’s Wii privileges and even discussed what Jesus would want her to do versus the devil. Ahhhh!!!! What can I do? How can I control how my kid acts when I’M NOT THERE. I can’t. I feel like telling Mrs. B, “sorry, you got yourself into this!” Shaylee had no problems getting along with her preK teacher or her kindergarten teacher.. but for some reason she likes to do everything Mrs. B doesn’t want her to do. But hey, its March, we only have to endure first grade for another 2 months!
When second grade comes, if I have reservations abouth the teacher… I am listening to my gut!

Clothe your Kids for FREE

Originally written 3/17/2010

Twice a year I bury myself in piles of out grown children’s clothes, and mountains of toys that are no longer played with. I get callissed thumbs from the never ending pinching of safety pins and stretching of tiny tops over wire hangers. My guest bedroom looks like a dumping ground for unwanted junk. But.. this is NOT junk… these disheveled stacks are actually stacks of GOLD!
Let me introduce you to the wonderful world of kids consignment sales!!! These are NOT the typical year round consignment shops that pay you when your stuff sales at a small fraction of what they sold them for.. these are much different. The kind of sale I am talking about springs up in a big facility for only 3 to 5 days– they provide you with a ton of eager shoppers and huge opportunity to get your stuff sold! In these sales, you are responsible for pricing and hanging your items— you set the price! You get to charge much more than you could at a garage sale, and you keep 70% of the profits from your sold items! You do the prep work, but after that the consignment sale organizers take over, you drop off your stuff and in a few days pick up your check and anything leftover.
I am in the middle of prepping all of my unwanted and outgrown kiddie cast offs right now. This my 4th time being a consignor! Every other time I have made around $400, I think I will make about the same this time! There are 2 consignments a year (spring and fall) and that gives me about $800 in earnings!! Hello! This is how I keep my kids dressed and looking cute as can be for FREE!!!! $800 is more than enough for a yearly clothing budget for my two small kids— especially when using my mad bargain shopping skills (but that’s a whole other blog topic!)
I love staying at home with my kids but living on one income is a challenge. I take pride in contributing any way I can to the household budget.. consigning is a simple way to do it! Try it! There are sales in most areas– do your research and find one! If you are in the Kansas City area, check this one out: http://herewegrowagain.com/

Maiden Mavyn Voyage

Originally written 2/22/2010

I have already fantasized every word I would say to Oprah as she interviewed me via Skype. I would be featured on a show celebrating the stay at home mom’s who found a way to make it big. I of course made it big by becoming the author of a wildly popular mommy blog; earning a cozy six figure salary by simply typing out the goings on of my mommy life.
It would go something like this:
OPRAH: Welcome! Devyn Lundy is the author of the popular blog, “mavynmom.com”. Devyn its such a pleasure to have you on the Show!
Me: Oh my goodness! I can’t believe I am actually talking to you Oprah! I DVR you every day!
OPRAH: Now tell me, what inspired you to begin mavynmom.com?
ME: Well actually, my friends. I have always had tons of funny stories about my family to tell, little money saving tips to give, and fun easy recipes to share. One of my best friends, the now famous DJ , Jenna Lucas told me one day that I HAD to write a blog. Her husband just happened to be a web host we went back to her house and he created the website that night!
OPRAH: And how did you think of the title, “Mavyn Mom”
ME: Well, obviously first and foremost in life my job is being a mommy and a wife, hence MOM. The word Maven has always been one of my favorite words.. its kinda like a Diva with Influence… I feel that describes me, we changed the E to a Y because of the way I spell my name D.E.V.Y.N.
OPRAH: Diva with Influence, I like that! What is the number one thing you hope your readers get from reading mavynmom?
ME: I really want the minute or two my readers stop by my site to be a little cup of gatoraide in the middle of their crazy hectic day. Stay at home mom’s are like marathon runners, they just have to keep at it , changing diapers, minivan carpools, taking the kids to dance, teeball, soccer, prepping dinner, helping with homework, laundry, making cupcakes all the small little things necessary to raise little humans. I want to be there for them on the side line with my little cup of gatoraide as they pass.. sometimes its inspirational, sometimes a giggle, or sometimes a place to vent, but its always refreshing!
OPRAH: I’ve always said, ” When done well, being a stay at home mom is the world’s most difficult career!” Thank you for celebrating that! Best Wishes to you!
Okay, does anyone know how I can come up with a few hundred thousand readers, and some companies to pay me to advertise on this website? I don’t have much time to make my dream come true, this is Oprah’s last season, and they are probably only filming for a few more months! Seriously though, I am very excited about this blog, I am really hoping to pour myself into every post! I hope you enjoy it!

Big Truck

Originally written, 3/30/2010

Will, my little man, is a spitfire and gives new meaning to the phrase “all boy!” I have never seen another two year old boy filled with as much testosterone as this kid. He is an alpha puppy! He likes to hit, kick, jump, throw balls, run, and do all things dangerous.
Will turned 2 years old at the end of January. Turning two means my baby boy is transforming from a toddler to a preschooler, and that means this year we will be diving into the oh so fun world of potty training. Potty training my little man’s man should be pretty interesting. Today we made our first huge stride.
Will has been waking up with dry diapers for about a week, this morning I put him on his little Winnie the Pooh potty chair and after a few chants of singing “let’s go pee, let’s go pee, let’s go pee in the potty!” He actually did it! I was proud, he was prouder! Bodily functions are sooo exciting during the potty training phase!
Training a boy is a little trickier than training a girl ( I have experienced girl-training with my daughter.) I don’t know if one sex is the easier or not.. but the mechanics of getting the boy parts pointing the right direction is a bit complicated! This morning as Will and I were taking the leap into the no-diaper future we had a little conversation on what exactly we should call his man parts. He was confused when I said “go pee pee in the potty,” he called his thing pee pee, and didn’t understand that two different things could be called the same. I read in a parenting book recently that parents should teach their children at an early age the proper terms for their privates. So I said to Will, “you can call that your penis!”
He replied to me, ” Penish?”
I said, ” Yup!”
He thought for a while and said, ” I call it Big Truck!!! VROOM VROOM!”
I laughed so hard! That little boy is the funniest kid! So I told him, ” point your big truck in the potty and go pee!” and he did! I should have known that my little alpha puppy would come up with a creative nickname for his manhood, I just never thought he would at age 2! Times like these really make me love being a stay at home mommy!

Mom's night off

Originally written on 2/24/2010

I was only 19 years old when I wed my sweet hunky husband. I was so infatuated with him– all I thought about was him, all I talked about was him, all of my free time was spent with him. I started hanging out less with girl friends after becoming a MRS. Mostly because I couldn’t stand to be apart from my beloved for any unnecessary second, (the 3 hours of class and 5 hours of work were all I could handle;) and partly because my friends were afraid to call or stop by our place in fear of interrupting us “consummating” our newly married relationship. (I was a virgin bride, and he was a virgin groom—-we enjoyed consummating often!)

Years in our marriage went by. Many things changed, like becoming parents. Infatuation faded but love grew, we got older and matured. About a year ago, (year 9 of our marriage) I realized that if I didn’t get out of the house with out my kids and even without my husband every once in a while my head was going to pop off with a geyser of steamy water gushing out of it . Over the years, my identity became “the wife of Geoff,” and “the mom of Shaylee and Will.” I had lost DEVYN. I had lost the girl that my husband had fallen in love with in the first place. I wanted her back.

Now, this is not the sole step I took to unearth my true self from piles and piles of bills, dirty diapers, job losses, negative people.. and all the other things in adult life that tend to blow out our little sparks. But, I do think it was a significant step. It was simple… I had to get out with a good GIRL friend again… if only for a few hours every week. I started a weekly ritual of having a simple girls’night– sometimes just going for coffee or shopping, nothing extravagant–. My “night off” is what it became. Looking forward to my night off, helped me keep calm and my emotions stable for the other 6 nights a week. Spending time away from my family as a whole, even made me love them more, missing people really makes you appreciate them! My relationships with friends grew as well, we all need friends. There were years when Geoff and I’s only friends were each other (not so healthy for a marriage.)

I feel like today, I am the happiest I have ever been. I am more in Love with my Husband (and he with me) than I have ever been. I am more in love with my family and life in general. And I am more in Love with ME. We mom’s really need to remember that WE are important. We need time off to be who we are. Our husband’s want those girls they fell in love with, and our kids need a mom who isn’t seconds away from mommy meltdown. I encourage you all to take a night off once a week, reconnect with yourself and with your girls! And if, by chance, you are a husband reading this– give your lady a night off– you will be glad you did!