Originally written on 2/24/2010
I was only 19 years old when I wed my sweet hunky husband. I was so infatuated with him– all I thought about was him, all I talked about was him, all of my free time was spent with him. I started hanging out less with girl friends after becoming a MRS. Mostly because I couldn’t stand to be apart from my beloved for any unnecessary second, (the 3 hours of class and 5 hours of work were all I could handle;) and partly because my friends were afraid to call or stop by our place in fear of interrupting us “consummating” our newly married relationship. (I was a virgin bride, and he was a virgin groom—-we enjoyed consummating often!)
Years in our marriage went by. Many things changed, like becoming parents. Infatuation faded but love grew, we got older and matured. About a year ago, (year 9 of our marriage) I realized that if I didn’t get out of the house with out my kids and even without my husband every once in a while my head was going to pop off with a geyser of steamy water gushing out of it . Over the years, my identity became “the wife of Geoff,” and “the mom of Shaylee and Will.” I had lost DEVYN. I had lost the girl that my husband had fallen in love with in the first place. I wanted her back.
Now, this is not the sole step I took to unearth my true self from piles and piles of bills, dirty diapers, job losses, negative people.. and all the other things in adult life that tend to blow out our little sparks. But, I do think it was a significant step. It was simple… I had to get out with a good GIRL friend again… if only for a few hours every week. I started a weekly ritual of having a simple girls’night– sometimes just going for coffee or shopping, nothing extravagant–. My “night off” is what it became. Looking forward to my night off, helped me keep calm and my emotions stable for the other 6 nights a week. Spending time away from my family as a whole, even made me love them more, missing people really makes you appreciate them! My relationships with friends grew as well, we all need friends. There were years when Geoff and I’s only friends were each other (not so healthy for a marriage.)
I feel like today, I am the happiest I have ever been. I am more in Love with my Husband (and he with me) than I have ever been. I am more in love with my family and life in general. And I am more in Love with ME. We mom’s really need to remember that WE are important. We need time off to be who we are. Our husband’s want those girls they fell in love with, and our kids need a mom who isn’t seconds away from mommy meltdown. I encourage you all to take a night off once a week, reconnect with yourself and with your girls! And if, by chance, you are a husband reading this– give your lady a night off– you will be glad you did!