I am compelled to share with you...
As most of you know, I am working on keeping a huge (Stupid) commitment to myself - I am training to run a 5K. I have never run in my life and never planned on it since I grew up an asthmatic kid and turned into an obese adult. But how many things have we said in the past "I am NEVER gonna..." and we end up eating our words?
As most of you know, I am working on keeping a huge (Stupid) commitment to myself - I am training to run a 5K. I have never run in my life and never planned on it since I grew up an asthmatic kid and turned into an obese adult. But how many things have we said in the past "I am NEVER gonna..." and we end up eating our words?
I reached a huge milestone today and...
It was really a moving AH HA moment. The first bravo comes in the fact that I decided to run on an unscheduled run day. (Bravo) The second comes in the fact that I planned on doing it alone. (Bravo) The third is that I actually swung my legs out of the bed at 5:50, dressed and went to the park. (Bravo) My desire was to run (jog - whatever) the entire 5K trail with no walk breaks. I was shocked at how tired I was how soon. I realized the pavement passes by much quicker with a friend...I kept putting one foot in front of the other. Thoughts consumed me. "You do not have to run today" but I am, "No one will know how much you ran" but I do. "You can take a break" but I am not. "You can stop anytime" but I don't. "This hurts" keep moving. "I am tired" you are strong. "I don't want to do this" but you're doing it anyway. I don't know if you get it or not - how hard it was. I pushed and pushed and finished. I ran (jogged -what ever) and finished running the entire trail. Not only did I finish it without stopping but I looked at my watch and did it in 33 minutes. I was overcome with emotions. It is so hard to put to words what it feels like to succeed in spite of yourself. I cried for about a half an hour after. The whole time I walked to my car, I cried - taking in the enormousy of pushing myself to do something I though would never be possible. I thought about how many other things in my life that I have allowed myself the permission to fail at. How life in general is like running. You just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep covering ground. Some runs are harder than others. The hills suck, but they make you stronger...keep moving in the general direction of you desires and you will achieve your goals.
The last thought that made the tears come even heavier was this. "I am proud of you". My eyes well up even as I type this. Why is it so hard to tell ourselves those very words. I am proud of me. I am.
If you read this far thank you. It shows that you too are persistent reach the finish line.
Congratulations Lisa, I am proud of you too! Thanks for sharing and inspiring us!
Oh, this gave me goosebumps! It's cool to see how she overcame the internal critic.
ReplyDelete